You can try something like, «I like to have you around me, because from where I`m sitting, you address important issues and feel strong about them. I also know that you are well-intentioned. I`d love to talk about whether you`re having the impact you want. Get him to think about the consequences of his regular struggles. Hill suggests that you find the underlying reason for the initiative, policy, or approach that you disagree with. Find out why the person thinks this is a reasonable suggestion. You can say something like, «Sam, I want to understand what we want to achieve with this initiative. Can you go back and explain the reasons for that? or «What are we trying to accomplish here? Ask Sam to talk more about what he does and why. Then you can present a few options on how to achieve the same goal with a different approach: «If I understand you correctly, try to reach x, y, and z. I wonder if there is another way to do it. Maybe we can… Expressing disagreement is always considered honest and sometimes courageous. In such a situation, you also want to consider the place.

«You might be able to have a more open discussion with someone if it`s a one-on-one conversation and not in front of a group,» she says. Hill points out that this is a good place to talk about the difference between intent and impact. After all, you don`t know what your colleague`s intention was; You just know you`re upset. You can start with something like, «Carl, it`s a little uncomfortable for me to tell you about it, but I heard you say X. I don`t know if that`s true or not. Anyway, I thought I should come to you because I`m quite upset and I thought we should talk about it. The focus should not be on blaming the person, but on radiing their feelings and trying to find a solution: «I want to understand what happened so we can have a conversation about it.» You can also agree, but with caveats, especially if there is any doubt or feeling that you can`t fully accept something.. .